Your blog is inexcusable.

I spent a couple of days in the airport recently. I flew to Chicago, stayed in a four star hotel in the prime near-Michigan ave. location, sat front row at Wrigley and flew back to LA the next day.
My flight back to LAX was delayed about three hours, which is par for the course when it comes to me and O'Hare on the way to LAX. I thought the fates were torturing me the first time I flew to CA from O'Hare. I had to stay in the damn airport for over six hours trying to get a seat assignment on a flight to LA. Luckily, I had my portable CD player with Pavement in it. Note; Pavement was still a band back then! No Stephen Malkmus, I don't even think I knew that name yet! Back to this trip. So, I'm delayed 3 hours, which eats a big whole in my plans and now I'm sitting around with nothing to do. So I hit the "Hudson News" which sells magazines and books. I can usually burn through a magazine in much less than 3 hours, so I needed a book. We all know what a damn crapshoot it is to find a good book in an airport. You're sitting there looking at a bunch of suspenseful bestsellers one minute, and you walk out well on your way to being a lifelong john sandford, carl hiaasen, or james patterson fan. This time, I settled with a novel called "Night Probe" by Clive Cussler. I picked it partially on the grounds that it is quite possible the most dubiously titled novel of all time. The treasures only mulitply when you realize that it was published in 1981, which does NOT stop it from taking place in 1989. 1981's view of 1989 is pretty hilarious. Quebec is fighting for independence, and has allied themselves with the Russians. All of North America is in jeopardy, you don't need me to tell you that.
I think I bore my father with my high level of country bumpkin-ness. 8 years in CA and 4 of those years in a University should refine a young man, after all! Instead, I am like a child when I enter a 4 star hotel. I use the robe. Do you guys use the robe when you stay in a hotel? I found myself thinking, "I need to re-structure my life so that I have a lot of leisure time after my showers, necessitating the use of a robe." This is foolish. There is no need to shape the structure of your life to accomodate previously unknown luxuries. I asked myself, "what do I need to do while i'm in a robe that would require my robe having pockets!?!?" I countered with, "What would I need pockets for that is so all-fired important that it would justify changing out of my robe and into something with pockets?!?!"